Happy Ending

And now for the ending to the story I started this weekend.  Here is Part 1 if you didn't read how it started.

I was so relieved that a thyroid problem was all I had to worry about... remember, no giant tape worm eating my insides.  My levels were so crazy that we were having a bit of trouble getting my dosage and type of medication right, but each month with a new dose and change from Armor to Levo we were getting closer and closer to that happy range.  In the meantime we were starting to get the itch.  You know the one.  Luci is getting older, we are getting older, and my internal clock was going off once again.  

We started trying for our second baby.  (Don't you hate it when people tell you they are trying.  You're probably like "I know what you're doing!!")  When we "tried" with Luci it didn't take much.  I mean I literally went off birth control and then we were pregnant.  Kyle felt a little ripped off if you know what I mean!  

After we had been trying for quite some time I started to get nervous.  I decided to go ahead and see an OB that has experience with the beginning stages of fertility testing.  It seemed that I was the epitome of fertile myrtle.  The only thing that wasn't perfect was my thyroid levels.  At that point he recommended that Kyle get tested as well.  To any man that has had to do this, I have to laugh.  I did have a little sympathy for the awkwardness of it all but seriously, do you know what I have had done to me!??  A little alone time in a creepy room is NOTHING in comparison.

Without going into too much detail (as if I haven't already lol!) we were not given happy news.  They basically told us we had a 5% chance of getting pregnant without intervention.  The first step would be a few rounds of IUI at only a 10% chance with each try.  Then if that didn't work we would move on to IVF.  After a lot of discussion and prayer we decided this was not for us.  We already have a BEAUTIFUL biological child.  I have had the amazing experience of being pregnant, giving birth, and breast feeding. 

After a serious process of mourning I picked myself back up and decided to get excited about something else.  Adoption.  I have several friends that have/are going through the process so I felt like my resources were endless. I spoke with a friend who had done an international adoption, one who is in the process of doing a domestic adoption, and another one who has adopted several kids through the foster to adopt system.  

After a LOT of discussion and prayer we decided that our hearts were really pulled toward the foster care system.  Obviously this route is scary.  You may have several kids in and out of your home before you get one that is yours forever.  When I really thought about it I knew that I could love these kids for however long they were in my home.  I knew I would be heartbroken to have to say goodbye to ANY child but that the good was outweighing the bad.  If ANYONE is considering this route please feel free to contact me.  I have some AMAZING resources that will answer any question, no matter how scary, with no judgement and TONS of knowledge.  Trust me, I asked her some doozies and she brought up some things that really sent my head spinning.  

Anyway, this was around December.  My friend told me about a class that was starting in March and our plan was to start the process then.  Well, I finally felt at peace and even a little excited about what God had in store for me.  Wouldn't you know it the very next month I was SICK.  I had the flu for 2 weeks and was miserable.  My husband had invited some friends over to watch the Broncos playoff game against the Ravens (let's not relive that horror) and I was feeling pretty good, but definitely not perfect.  As I was getting ready for everyone to come over it hit me.  I ran upstairs, peed on a stick and stared at it in disbelief... Pregnant.  I could practically hear God saying "You can tell everyone to take that 5% chance and shove it up their A@$, I'm in charge in this house."  

Coincidentally my doctor called me the next day to give me my latest blood test results.  This was the first month in a year and a half that my TSH levels were not only in the NORMAL range (between .4 and 4) but they just so happened to make it all the way down to the IDEAL range for conception (between 1 and 2).  Now, this isn't why we were given a 5% chance, but to me, this was just another way God was showing just what he could do. 

 Now, Kyle was full of funny reactions but my favorite was, "I demand a recount."  To be honest I was a little surprised by my reaction.  I was ecstatic of course, but a part of me was sad.  I had really gotten excited about the foster to adopt process.  It was like I had mourned a loss, and then celebrated a new plan, and then mourned the loss of that plan all while celebrating what I thought was my original loss.  Did I loose you there??  Yeah, that's about how I felt.  

Now that the roller coaster has slowed (a bit) I am just in awe. Maybe Kyle's test results were misread, maybe getting my thyroid hormones in order bumped us into pregnancy land, maybe the tape worm eating my insides decided to leave, or maybe getting my mind off of fertility and on to adoption relieved the stress.  I don't really know.  What I do know is that I have talked to countless women who have gone through this.  Some with great results and some with not so great.  I can't explain why this all happened (and neither can my doctor) but I can tell you that when I finally found peace with our prognosis God showed up.  He was always there, he was just waiting for me to slow down and listen.  

So there you have it.  The real reason I have been absent.  Here's to hoping my "flu" goes away soon now that I'm in my second trimester!  I told you this story had a happy ending:)