Traci's manifesto. Huh. After reading
this post over at one of my all time favorite blogs Miss Mustard Seed I was inspired... to say the least. She throws down a really intriguing challenge, a really scary one at that. To actually write down what I really truly want out of my life right now would mean admitting that there need to be changes. What would Traci's manifesto say? It makes me nervous to even think about life's possibilities. So, in an effort to grow some balls and have my very own Jerry Maguire moment here it goes:
The truth is, in the past year I have made huge, GIANT leaps in the direction I had always hoped life would go. I have stepped out from behind a desk and jumped in with both feet to a creative world that I love. The challenge... priorities. In the past I didn't like my job so it was so easy to put God and my family first. I always see quotes on Pinterest saying if you want to know where your heart lies then see where your mind goes when it wanders. While some of the time it wanders to God, Luci, and Kyle, more often then not it wanders to my shop. What needs to get done, what is my next project, HOW many chairs are accumulating in my garage?! If I am being perfectly honest with myself my mind seems to be wandering away from what is most important. Is this a bad thing? Is it so bad that I am passionate about what I am doing? Am I an uncaring mother or wife that some days I just want Luci to go to bed so I can actually get something done? Writing it down actually makes it sound bad. Where does passion cross the line? I genuinely believe that having a mom who enjoys what she does and can pass that passion along is an amazing asset.
If I had exactly what I wanted then I would probably still find something to complain about. So I guess what I really want is to cherish each moment. Luci will only be this age for a short time. No matter what our life looks like at each stage I want to live in that moment. I want to have the time to play without checking my watch, to sit on the couch with my husband and not be distracted by work. I want to pray with the sole intension of getting closer to my heavenly father. I want to create pretty things because that is the talent and passion God has given me, but I want to do so in a way that honors Him and my family. Balance. I want balance. I genuinely believe I will find that balance, and in the mean time, while I am striving to find it, I will cherish each moment. I will work hard. Sometimes I will get overwhelmed but when those times come I will remember all the wonderful things I have in my life and I will be thankful.
I will continue to strive for this "perfect" life I have imagined. A clean house, a hot meal on the stove, a giggling little girl, a perfectly arranged shop, a husband who is not stressed, an abundance of time to create and be creative, silent times with just me and God. As I look at that last sentence I realize... what fun would a perfect life be anyway? It is in the unexpected moments that I find the most joy. It is in the hard times that God reveals the most important lessons.
Well, there you have it. My rambling manifesto. Writing it down was really scary, sharing it with you all even scarier. Scary as it may be it was also freeing. I am not perfect, I do struggle, but in the end I love my life and I am having fun making mistakes. I challenge you all to do the same. Really think about what you want, and then write it down. And if you are feeling really brave share it with someone.
